Read This Before Attending a Wedding in Italy
Read This Before Attending a Wedding in Italy
Gaspar Janos/Shutterstock
https://www.fodors.com/world/europe/italy/experiences/news/photos/read-this-before-attending-a-wedding-in-italy
So, your BFF is getting married in Italy this summer…
Italy does romance better than just about anywhere–and if you’ve been invited to a wedding in Positano, on Capri, or along the shores of Lake Como, congratulations: you’re about to have one of the best trips of your life.
But these aren’t your average resort weddings where a shuttle drops you at the door. These are vertical-heavy, ferry-dependent, cobblestoned towns that take a little know-how to navigate.
I’ve made the journey more than once, and here’s everything I’d tell a friend before they pack their bags–from which airport to choose to why you should leave certain footwear at home.
PHOTO: ALEXANDRE ROTENBERG/SHUTTERSTOCK
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Where to Fly In
First things first: where you should land depends entirely on where the wedding is. Italy is larger than it looks, so don’t pick an airport at random and assume you’ll drive the rest.
For Lake Como, flying into Milan – Linate (LIN) is closer and easier than Malpensa (MXP), and you’re roughly an hour from the lake.
For Positano and Capri, Naples (NAP) is your gateway; it’s the launch point for ferries and transfers down the coast.
Rome (FCO) is a tempting alternative since it has more direct flights from the U.S., but factor in a longer transfer of three hours or more to the Amalfi Coast. My advice? Pick the airport nearest the celebration, even if it means one extra connection.
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Navigating Italian Trains
Italy’s high-speed trains are a joy–clean, fast, and often cheaper than you’d expect if you book ahead. Trenitalia’s Frecciarossa and the private Italo line connect the major hubs, whisking you from Rome to Naples in about an hour and 10 minutes.
Reserve early for the best fares, and note that seats are assigned on high-speed routes, so there’s no need to scramble. Here’s the catch, though: trains will get you to the gateway city, but not to the wedding itself.
There’s no station in Positano, and you can’t take a train to Capri. Pack light, because most stations involve stairs, and the platforms aren’t always elevator-friendly.
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Getting to the Actual Wedding: Ferries, Transfers, and That Last Stretch
This is the part American guests tend to underestimate: the last mile. From Naples, Positano is a winding 90-minute drive (a private transfer runs around €120-150, or $138-172, and if you get travel sickness, it’s worth it over wrestling luggage onto the SITA bus).
Capri is ferry-only (there’s no bridge), so you’ll catch a boat from Naples or Sorrento, then take the funicular up from the port. For Lake Como, take the train to Como or Varenna, then hop the ferries that crisscross the lake between Bellagio, Menaggio, and beyond.
Whatever you do, pre-book your transfers and build in buffer time. Ferries get canceled in rough weather, and roads get jammed in summer, especially around Amalfi.
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What to Know About Italian Small Towns
Positano is famously built into a cliff, which means one thing: steps–and hundreds of them. Capri and the Como lakeside villages are much the same: incredibly charming yet not remotely flat.
Cars can’t reach most front doors, so porters often carry bags the final stretch (tip them well). The streets are cobblestoned, the alleys are narrow, and many historic centers sit inside ZTL zones where vehicles aren’t allowed at all.
None of this is a problem once you know to expect it; just know that what the happy couple may claim is “a short walk to the hotel” might mean a decent calf workout, and plan your footwear and your packing accordingly.
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What to Pack
Speaking of footwear: leave the stilettos at home. Between the cobblestones, the steps, and the inevitable grassy or gravelly wedding venue, block heels or wedges will save your ankles (and maybe also your dignity).
Bring comfortable shoes for daytime exploring, breathable fabrics for the heat, and a wrap or shawl. These are especially useful for church ceremonies, where shoulders need covering, and for breezy evenings on the water.
A light layer is smart for Lake Como, which can cool down at night. Most importantly, pack light. You’ll be hauling your own bags up those steps at some point, and a soft duffel beats a hard-sided suitcase every time.
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What to Expect at an Italian Wedding
Italian weddings run on Italian time, which is to say: later and longer. They’re also gloriously food-focused. Expect the celebration to stretch over many hours, with course after course and generous pours of local wine.
Aperitivo before dinner is pretty much a love language here. If the ceremony is in a Catholic church, dress modestly and cover your shoulders. And because guests have traveled so far, many couples turn the occasion into a multi-day affair with a welcome dinner the night before and a lazy lunch the day after.
Italians dress up, so when in doubt, lean elegant. You won’t be the only one in your finest.
PHOTO: COURTESY OF PRESS IMAGES BRECHENMACHER & BAUMANN
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Where to Stay
Where you stay can truly make or break the trip. In Positano, the iconic Le Sirenuse is a splurge worth saving for, but smaller family-run hotels higher up the hill offer the same views for less–just be ready to climb.
On Capri, decide between buzzy Capri town and quieter Anacapri, and try to stay overnight: the island transforms once the day-trippers catch the last ferry home.
On Lake Como, Bellagio is the postcard, but Varenna is quieter and reachable by train. Whatever you choose, book early. Rooms in these towns sell out a year ahead during wedding season, and prices climb as the date nears.
PHOTO: COURTESY OF PRESS IMAGES BRECHENMACHER & BAUMANN
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Money, Tipping, and the Practical Bits
A few practicalities to smooth the trip, especially if you haven’t been here before. Italy uses the euro, and while cards are accepted almost everywhere, it’s smart to carry some cash for small cafés, ferry kiosks, and tips.
Speaking of which: tipping is modest here. Rounding up the bill or leaving a few euros for great service is plenty, and a service charge is often included.
Don’t be alarmed by the coperto, a small per-person cover charge that appears on most restaurant bills–it’s standard, not a scam. Finally, it’s worth setting up an eSIM before you fly. You’ll want reliable data for navigating ferry schedules and finding your way through those maze-like streets.
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How to Extend Your Trip
You’ve crossed an ocean, so don’t rush home! If the wedding is on the Amalfi Coast, tack on a few days for Pompeii, the cliffside town of Ravello, or a slower stretch in Sorrento.
The adventurous can carry on south to Puglia, which is a gorgeous array of whitewashed towns and empty beaches.
If you’re up at Lake Como, Milan is an easy train ride for a dose of city life and serious shopping, or you can head into the Alps or over to Lake Garda.
Either way, add three or four days to the back of your trip. A long-haul flight deserves more than just a weekend.
PHOTO: ARKANTO/SHUTTERSTOCK
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A Few Last Things to Know Before You Go
The Italian wedding sweet spots are late spring and early fall–May, June, September, and October–when the weather is warm but the crowds and prices haven’t peaked.
August is hot, packed, and the month when many locals close up shop and head out themselves.
Above all, lean into the slower pace. Things start late, meals last for hours, and nobody’s in a hurry. You’ll want to build buffer time into every transfer, bring your patience along with your good shoes, and let yourself be swept up in it.
That, after all, is exactly why the couple chose Italy.
Prudential’s Charles Lowrey on finishing strong as CEO
https://www.mckinsey.com/capabilities/strategy-and-corporate-finance/our-insights/prudentials-charles-lowrey-on-finishing-strong-as-ceo?
Charles Lowrey is a former executive chairman and CEO of Prudential Financial and current chairman of the board of the New Jersey Performing Arts Center. Carolyn Dewar is a senior partner in McKinsey’s Bay Area office.
Much has been written about a CEO’s first 100 days, but what about the other end of the journey?
In this episode of the Inside the Strategy Room podcast, McKinsey Senior Partner Carolyn Dewar speaks with Charles Lowrey, former executive chairman and CEO of Prudential Financial, about leadership, succession planning, and transition. He explains why he began thinking about succession from day one, how he worked with the board to develop future CEO candidates, and what it takes to hand over the reins cleanly when the time comes. He also shares his personal experience of leaving the role: questions of identity, purpose, and the one every departing CEO eventually faces—what comes next?
The following transcript has been edited for clarity and length. For more discussions on the strategy issues that matter, follow the series on your preferred podcast platform.
Carolyn Dewar: Tell us about your journey to becoming a CEO. And once you found yourself in the CEO seat, was it what you expected?
Charles Lowrey: I never expected to be a CEO. I started my career as an architect, and if you had asked me back then whether I would be CEO of Prudential Financial, I would’ve looked at you in horror. I had my own architecture firm and decided I needed more business experience, so I went back to business school. That led to a job at JP Morgan, and I was still there 13 years later. Prudential had been a client of mine for about ten years, and they asked me to come over and run the real estate investment management division. And then, as I like to say, I couldn’t keep a job at Prudential; I moved all through the company before ending up as chairman and CEO. It was a very unlikely journey, but having all those different experiences helps you prepare in terms of management, professional experience, and life experience.
You can never prepare for it. You think you know what to expect. You’ve run major divisions—I ran both the entire US for Prudential and their international side—but it’s not the same, because in previous roles you have a boss, and you have peers you can talk to within the firm. When you become CEO, you have no peers. You have the board, and they are a great resource, but you quickly learn that it’s a bit like having 12 bosses. So there’s no one you can really talk to and confide in; you have to find your own group—other CEOs, outside of the firm.
Carolyn Dewar: There’s a lot of talk about the first 100 days, hitting the ground running, and even the middle years, but not much about finishing strong. When did you start thinking about preparing the organization and your successor for when the time came to hand over the baton?
Charles Lowrey: From the day I became CEO. I was a late CEO. I came in when I was around 62, and I retired as executive chair when I was 68. I knew I had a limited amount of time, and I had a very specific goal in mind of what I wanted to do, namely the reorganization of Prudential—putting it on a different footing, making the hard decisions in terms of restructuring the organization, and preparing a very strong foundation for the next CEO.
And at Prudential, the board and management take succession incredibly seriously. I became CEO in December of 2018, and the month before that, I gave a presentation to the board on potential successors. This is something they actually look at annually, every November. So, from early on, the burden was on me to start grooming the next set of CEO candidates; to not only identify potential candidates but also articulate to the board what their career paths would be to provide them with the experiences they needed to become serious candidates.
Carolyn Dewar: How did you and the board know what the profile was you were trying to develop someone towards—were you checking in against a set of criteria?
Charles Lowrey: A CEO’s profile can differ depending on the timing of their arrival. Prudential was a very different company when I took over, in a very different competitive context, and the CEO now likely has a very different remit than when I came in. That’s a natural evolution; you do not want the criteria for a CEO to be static in any way. I could argue it’s the same leadership skill set, but a different view on strategy and context is really important. So, we didn’t have a specific set of criteria, per se. Again, at first, we were looking to give people a range of experiences so they could be considered candidates. Once I determined with the board what my exact timing would be and we had more context, we developed the specific skill set we thought was needed for the next CEO and evaluated both internal and external candidates based on that.
There’s no rheostat with a CEO job; there’s a light switch: It’s on, or it’s off. I did not want to coast.
Carolyn Dewar: How did you see your job as CEO in terms of developing that next generation of candidates? And how did you know what it would take to round them out, or how long?
Charles Lowrey: My job was to test and coach, provide them with a range of experiences, and hone their skill sets as they developed, which I think any good manager would do. This is something Prudential and the board take very seriously at many levels, not just at the CEO level. Then, every year, we would check in on how they were doing and whether there were other candidates to consider, ultimately to give the board enough data so they would feel comfortable making a choice—because let’s be clear, this is the board’s choice. The board needs enough information to make its decision. They’ll never have perfect information, and I would argue there’s a fine line between gathering enough and gathering too much. You do want to think about the time frame on this, especially as it gets closer, because you could lose people. But realistically, it’s going to take a significant period for the board to become comfortable with evaluating the candidates.
Carolyn Dewar: Did people know they were potential candidates? And does that create tension in terms of people feeling like they are competing, or is it all under the umbrella of good coaching?
Charles Lowrey: It’s under the umbrella until it’s not. There will always be speculation in a company about who the next CEO could be, and that starts from the day you become CEO. People in the organization are smart; they understand there is a series of candidates who are being considered. It’s just part of the rigor of selecting a candidate. In terms of tension, it’s entirely dependent upon the individuals that are being considered; they can either be collegial about the process or they can be adversarial. At Prudential, we’ve been very lucky that in the past three choices of CEOs, the candidates have been very collegial in the run-up to the decision. I think that’s a real tribute to those people, and to the culture of the institution.
Carolyn Dewar: Alright, so you’ve been developing this pool of people and having these conversations with the board since the beginning, while excelling in your role. How did you recognize when the arc of your own tenure was coming to a close? How do you have that conversation with yourself, your spouse, or the board?
Charles Lowrey: I think you always have it with yourself first, and then you have it with your family, and finally you have it with the board. That’s the order in which I’ve lived my life: family and then work. The work the firm was doing in terms of the restructuring and the reorganization to create a firm foundation for the next generation was concluding. I had a choice to make. Do I stay on and take the firm through that to the next level, or do I let someone else come in and do that? Honestly, age was a bit of a factor. But I also thought that if I stayed on, I’d be a blocker for the next generation, who were ready at that point. I didn't want the organization to lose them. So, it seemed like a logical time to tie a bow around the whole reorganization and restructuring that we had done and hand it off to the next generation. I went to the board around 18 months beforehand and said, “This is what I'm thinking about, and this is what I think we should do.” And they accepted that.
Carolyn Dewar: When you were in the CEO seat for those last 18 months, how did you think about finishing strong? And were there things you wanted to get done to make it easier for the next person?
Charles Lowrey: First of all, there’s no rheostat with a CEO job; there’s a light switch: It’s on, or it’s off. I did not want to coast. I felt I had a renewed mission to make sure that everything that we were doing was checked off and done well. The goals that we had in terms of the reorganization of the company and placing it on a very strong foundation were, in fact, completed. That provided tremendous motivation for me to work incredibly hard for the last 18 months, making sure it was as clean a package as possible to hand to the next person.
When the decision was made, there was an overlap, where discussions occurred that let me do the hard things, but in conjunction with the new CEO. So, if there were personnel decisions to be made or other difficult decisions, I was still making them on my watch. But the new CEO would be in the conversation because he was going to inherit them. Again, I wanted to tie as pretty a bow as possible around the package.
Carolyn Dewar: However short or long, that overlap period can be tricky for both. What are your reflections on what makes a smooth handover, either as the incoming or outgoing CEO? And what do people underestimate or get wrong about the transition?
Charles Lowrey: I’ll start by saying, at any given time, there is only one CEO of a company. Period. I was very fortunate that the CEO preceding me had a very strong view that when he was no longer CEO, he would leave the premises. It was a clean break. He also purposely said something to me that I greatly appreciated and respected: “I am here if you need me. I will not call you.” And he didn’t.
In my case, the board asked me to stay on as executive chairman for a period of a year. And I did, but I made it very clear to everyone that there was one CEO, and that was the new CEO. I moved off the executive floor, and I told anyone who came to talk to me: “I will listen. I will not offer an opinion. And oh, by the way, anything you say to me, I will say to the CEO.” Like my predecessor, I was very respectful of the new CEO, Andy Sullivan. I was there if he needed me, as a resource and only a resource. I would tell him what I was hearing for his consideration, but nothing more. And that was known throughout the firm.
People underestimate the number of decisions that need to be made to effect a smooth transition.
My goal in the succession plan was for the market to greet it with a huge yawn—that there would be no reaction to this whatsoever. And that’s what happened. This is Prudential at its best in terms of succession planning. Now, there is a tremendous amount of work that goes into it, and I think people underestimate the number of decisions that need to be made to effect a smooth transition. We had a very experienced head of HR and consultants who helped with everything from how long between the announcement and when it’s actually turned over, to whom to call, and how to execute. It was highly orchestrated behind the scenes over many months. But the market, the world saw none of that; all you saw was a very smooth transition.
Carolyn Dewar: And while all this is going on, I assume you’re thinking about what’s next for you. How did you approach that, and what would you share with people who might have some fear or trepidation around it?
Charles Lowrey: Oh, I had lots of trepidation around this. You’re going from “who’s who” to “who’s that?”—that in itself was one of my biggest fears. A great privilege of being a CEO is the access you have to extraordinary people, and I knew my access was because of the title; it was not because of my name. In another life, would I still have access to super interesting people and be stimulated?
The work that I did with a coach, who helped tremendously, was to frame out exactly the kinds of things I wanted to do and then very intentionally pursue those things. I almost scientifically created three buckets. One is nonprofits. I’m still chairman of the board of the New Jersey Performing Arts Center, and I’ve joined the board of the American Academy in Rome, which gets me back to my art and architecture roots. The second is what I’ll call “giving back.” When I became CEO, I called up a lot of other CEOs and asked: “Could I come talk to you about what it’s like?” People were so generous with their time and went out of their way to meet with me. They helped me think about the opportunities and consider the pitfalls of being in the role. I’m now working with three different organizations, sharing the achievements, the mistakes, and the feelings I experienced being a CEO with other CEOs who might benefit from hearing about it. The third bucket is corporate board service. I just joined the board of the Bank of New York, which I’m thrilled about, as I rotated off Prudential’s board. And so those are the three major buckets; I’m excited to see them filling up and relieved with the new portfolio I have.
Carolyn Dewar: For anyone who is in the last third of their CEO tenure and perhaps hasn’t been talking to their board about this, what would you say are the two or three most important things to start doing?
Charles Lowrey: First, talk to the board soon about your plans because they might say, “Can you extend for a little while? Can you do something different?” In my case, they asked me to stay on as executive chairman for a year. So, I’d urge you to begin to have that conversation in a very transparent way. The second point is that it takes a village. As I’ve mentioned, the head of HR was unbelievably helpful and became a huge resource. But then we also had to put together a whole communications team and think about investor relations, you name it. Again, don’t underestimate the amount of work it takes. And the third point is, remember this is a difficult process for those being considered. Have empathy and grace for those people, because they will be going through what you went through.
Carolyn Dewar: Many people look at the CEO role and say, “These are impossible jobs. Who would ever want that role?” If you were talking to someone earlier in their career, why might they aspire to this one day, and what advice do you have?
Charles Lowrey: It is not for everyone. People look at the glory and the glamour of it, but there is the other side of the equation as well. It is all-consuming. It is 24/7. My advice is to make sure that you’re not completely consumed by the job. Recognizing what’s important to you—family, friends, exercise, whatever keeps you grounded—is the counterbalance to the pressure and the responsibility of work. I believe that’s what is most important and what will make you a better CEO.
But what I’d also say is that it is an absolute privilege to be CEO, for two reasons. The first is that it gives you the chance to put your imprint on a company, however large or small the company is, and create a legacy for that company going forward. That’s an extraordinary opportunity. The second point is one I raised earlier, which is that it also affords you the opportunity to meet and interact with extraordinary people, both inside and outside the company. And that is an incredible privilege as well. So those two aspects of the job are irreplaceable and almost indescribable. And for that reason, I wouldn’t trade my experience for the world.
Can a Cruise Change Your Perspective on Travel?
Courtesy of Viking
https://www.fodors.com/world/europe/experiences/news/can-a-cruise-change-your-perspective-on-travel
This one changed mine.
Between ease of transport and curated itineraries, I always believed that cruises were something you graduated into later in life.
I imagined them as being a comfortable reward for surviving decades of stress, burnout, and non-stop work, but somewhere between ancient ruins, effortless travel days, ocean view saunas, and a dangerously good 24-hour room service aboard Viking’s Ancient Mediterranean Treasures itinerary, I had a realization: comfort isn’t something that we need to save for later in life; it’s something we can (and should) enjoy now.
This eight-day cruise aboard the Viking Vesta took me through Greece and Turkey with stops in Athens, Crete, Rhodes, Ephesus, Troy, and Istanbul, and somehow made one of the most history-filled trips I’ve ever taken feel completely stress-free—and that’s what stood out the most. Not having to think about logistics for once was a welcome change of pace for someone who travels often.
Viking makes travel incredibly easy. The second you step off the ship, your transportation and guided tour are already waiting for you. No scrambling for taxis, no trying to decode public transportation in a foreign country, no stress about timing. It’s all handled for you, which means you get to experience the places you’re in instead of worrying about travel details and logistics.
In Athens, standing beneath the Parthenon, I realized how differently I experience travel now compared to when I first visited this ancient Greek city years prior. Back then, chances are you would have found me rushing about the city, trying to snag the perfect photo or jam-pack my day’s schedule with trips to ‘must-see’ sights. This time around, I wanted to hear the history, take my time, and learn about the place I was standing in, slowly peeling back the layers of its rich culture. It’s funny how life changes your perspective and how time ultimately inspires all of us to slow down, especially when we travel.
In Crete, I discovered a slower pace marked by harbor walks, old stone streets, cafés by the water, and the feeling that you could either stay with the guided group or disappear and explore on your own—all sans stress. Viking somehow balances structure with freedom well, which made the whole trip feel relaxed instead of overplanned. Then came Rhodes, where medieval walls and ancient history blend into modern restaurants and shops in a way that feels surreal. One minute you’re walking through centuries-old stone alleyways, the next you’re drinking espresso surrounded by locals going about their everyday life. Ephesus was one of the highlights of the trip a massive ancient city with marble streets, amphitheaters, and ruins that somehow still feel alive.
Courtesy of Viking
Back onboard the ship, I found the complimentary room service to be one of the highlights of sailing with Viking, boasting a 24-hour in-room menu offering items like steak, burgers, and Caesar salads adorned with plump anchovies. These salads became such a treat for me that, at one point, I found myself ordering two Caesar salads a day like it was part of my personality.
Lest you picture a gigantic cruise liner, know that Viking feels more like a calm Scandinavian boutique hotel than a traditional cruise ship. There’s live music throughout the lounges, quiet reading spaces with panoramic ocean views, strong Wi-Fi, a surprisingly solid gym, and one of the best spas I’ve experienced at sea, complete with saunas, heated pools, and even a snow grotto where snow falls from the ceiling.
The onboard restaurants also never felt like typical “cruise food.” Places like Manfredi’s and The Chef’s Table felt genuinely elevated, and the adults-only atmosphere gave the entire ship a calm, relaxed energy that made it easy to fully disconnect. The cruise ended in Istanbul, one of the most visually layered and energetic cities I’ve ever visited, with mosques, markets, cafés, and ferries crossing between continents.
Somewhere between effortless excursions, ridiculously comfortable cabins, and not having to think about travel logistics for once, I started to understand that comfort isn’t laziness, ease isn’t cheating, and slowing down doesn’t mean you’re giving up. Rather, it can mean you’re finally present enough to enjoy where you are and savor that moment.
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