I Stayed at Hedonism II, the Infamous Sex Resort, and Answer All Your Questions
I Stayed at Hedonism II, the Infamous Sex Resort, and Answer All Your Questions
BGStock72/Shutterstock
https://www.fodors.com/news/photos/everything-you-want-to-know-about-staying-at-a-sex-resort-like-hedonism-ii
Alex Temblador
At Jamaica’s Hedonism II, guests enjoy sun, sand, sea–and possibly sex with strangers
He was the July pick for a calendar of Toronto’s sexiest men. I’d seen him earlier in the night, but he really caught my eye when I spotted him with the other calendar models on a stage in a club at the Jamaican resort I was visiting.
That year, I’d been struggling with my body image, seeking out burlesque and hip-hop dance classes as a way to grow more comfortable with how my curvier body shape moved. Yet, I felt sexy that night in a lacy lingerie one-piece, leather skirt, and black strappy heels.
When Mr. July left the stage, I danced my way over to him in the crowd. We locked eyes and danced with each other for one song before he whispered in my ear, “Do you want to go to the playroom?” I had yet to visit the infamous “playroom”–a space reserved for sexual activity between consenting guests–but I nodded and took his hand.
I was at a sex resort called Hedonism II, after all, and this felt like a first good step in finding my sexy again.
What Is a Sex Resort?
Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica, is a world-famous sex resort, but it’s not the only one. Temptation Cancun Resort in Cancun, Mexico, Rooftop Resort in Hollywood Beach, Florida, and La Mirage Swingers Complex in Gran Canaria, Spain, are also known for drawing couples and/or singles interested in sensual and erotic travel experiences.
Like any other hotel, sex resorts boast amenities like restaurants, bars, spas, gyms, and on-site activities. Unlike other hotels, there’s usually a sexy angle to each aspect of the property – like rooms with mirrors hanging above the bed. Hedonism II serves travelers sexy themed nights, live sensual shows, Tantra workshops, and spaces where they can get spicy, like the aforementioned playroom.
It should be mentioned that sex resorts are different from resorts with clothing-optional areas. Sure, both have sensual, playful, and party vibes, but sex resorts specifically offer erotic amenities. Clothing-optional resorts usually do not (but that’s not to say you can’t meet someone at the pool and have fun in your room). Naturalist or nudist resorts are also different, as they lack sexual or sensual elements, especially if they’re family-friendly.
Who Goes to Sex Resorts?
Sex resorts have long been angled toward straight couples who like to swing. For instance, both Desire Resort Riviera Maya and La Mirage Swingers Complex are couples only. Temptation Cancun Resort and Hedonism II allow singles to stay, with Temptation being the more LGBTQ+-friendly of the two. Hedonism II has booking rules in place related to single men, like “more than one male per room is not allowed. MM, MMM, and MMF bookings will not be accepted.” In this day and age, such rules feel exclusionary towards polyamorous relationships and queer men.
During my time at Hedonism II, most guests were white, heterosexual couples in their 40s and older. However, there happened to be three groups of younger (20s-30s), single groups staying, who were diverse in terms of race and sexual orientation.
What Are the Rules at Sex Resorts?
As you would imagine, rules are important at sex resorts as the goal is for everyone to have positive, safe, and sanitary experiences. Some hotels make guests sign “contracts” that ensure visitors understand consent, while others hand out (and strongly encourage) condoms for safe sexual experiences. To protect guests’ privacy, phones and cameras are often prohibited in nude spaces. Most likely, the sex resort will have au natural areas, like specific pools, and other places where clothes are required, like restaurants (for sanitary reasons).
Where Do People Have Sex at Sex Resorts?
For the most part, sex resorts limit sexual or intimate play to guest rooms or playrooms. In fact, during the day, Hedonism II looked like a normal resort, with people lying on the beach reading books, having a drink at the bar, or cooling off in the pool.
That’s not to say that guests don’t engage in some sexy touching in public spaces – even if it’s technically against the rules. My first full day at Hedonism II, I saw a woman on a floatie in the ocean being pleasured by her male counterpart with his hands. They were being discreet and quiet, which was likely why staff didn’t notice and put a stop to it.
The sexy themed nights at Hedonism II had guests dressing up in lacey lingerie, leather, or sexy togas, which inevitably led to sensual engagements. My first night, we stripped down and jumped in the pool to play nude volleyball with the Toronto models. Another night, I passed a room where a young couple had a blue light in the window to invite guests in to chat and check out their sex toy collection.
Playrooms are perhaps the “hottest” spots for sex in a sex resort. When the Toronto model and I arrived at the playroom, we undressed completely and handed our clothes to the attendant. Inside, it was spacious, filled with glass showers, beds, and various shallow pools for people to play in.
Did You Ever Feel Uncomfortable?
Visiting Hedonism II was a life-changing experience for me. I spent my time swimming in the ocean or pool, dancing at a foam party, eating sunset dinners on the beach, taking a boat trip around the island, and connecting with people from all walks of life. Not once did I receive unwanted looks, touch, or attention. I was treated with respect by other guests, which is ironic considering that it doesn’t always occur when I’m fully clothed in my day-to-day life. In fact, I returned home feeling more confident, alluring, and comfortable in my body.
And yes–I had amazing sex and sensual experiences which taught me that there is nothing wrong with seeking out places that promote play. After all, travel should be both rewarding and pleasurable. Don’t you think?
I Don’t Love All-Inclusive Resorts, but I Loved This One
Secrets Bahia Mita Surf & Spa Resort
https://www.fodors.com/world/mexico-and-central-america/mexico/experiences/news/this-mexican-resort-might-be-the-best-all-inclusive-stay-in-all-of-riviera-nayarit
I wasn't the biggest fan of all-inclusive stays...that is until I checked into this resort.
I will admit it; I’ve got mixed feelings about all-inclusive resorts, despite having stayed at my fair share of them.
So, when I had the opportunity to visit Secrets Bahia Mita Surf & Spa Resort in Mexico’s Riviera Nayarit region, I asked myself: what could make this all-inclusive stand out from the rest?
Found 40 minutes outside of Puerto Vallarta, the resort has undergone a recent expansion and renovation of the property designed by Sordo Madaleno, whose projects include Park Hyatt Los Cabos, Soho House Madrid, and Soho House Mexico City, to name a few. Situated in Banderas Bay, this all-inclusive, adults-only resort is part of the Hyatt Inclusive Collection.
The 278 all-suites property includes patios with enviable views, expansive bathrooms with marble floors, and—in the case of the Preferred Club Bahia Mita Suite Oceanfront suites—a private soaking tub and solarium. From butler service to in-room high tea, the rooms do not disappoint.
Outside of the suites, the resort offers 13 international restaurants, from casual to fine dining. There’s Barracuda, a beachfront bar with light bites, and there’s Bordeaux, a French restaurant promising an elevated menu and romantic setting. Too often, resort food can prove lackluster and, after a few days, repetitive. But at Bahia Mita, your palate is unlikely to get bored.
With rich offers and newly renovated ultra-luxe rooftop cabanas, guided hydrotherapy spa sessions, a waterpark, and even a private zipline, Secrets Bahia Mita Surf & Spa is head and shoulders above other all-inclusive resorts in the region.
Can You Turn a Layover Into a Mini Vacation?
Sam Szuchan/Unsplash
https://www.fodors.com/world/mexico-and-central-america/panama/experiences/news/how-to-make-the-most-of-a-layover-in-panama-city
With this stopover program, you can.
Can a layover become a mini vacation in itself? That’s exactly what happened when I flew Copa Airlines and found out about their Stopover Program, where you can explore Panama for up to seven days at no extra cost. I decided to put the program to the test, seeing how much of Panama I could actually see on a short layover in Panama City. As it turns out, I could see a lot.
Day One: Checking into the Sofitel
When I arrived in Panama City for my layover, I checked into the five-star Sofitel Legend Casco Viejo, a Michelin key hotel that feels part Parisian, part tropical dream. I enjoyed cocktails at the hotel’s rooftop bar, Ammi, followed by a six-course tasting menu at the Sofitel’s fine-dining eatery, Caleta. When I returned to my room that night, happily satiated, the hotel had surprised me with a turn-down service complete with treats, while those enviable ocean views lulled me to sleep, helping me forget I was only technically on a short layover.
Day Two: A Short Trip to the Rainforest
The next morning, I woke to the promise of a day full of adventure, beginning with a rainforest excursion on the Panama Canal with Ancon Expeditions, a Panama-based company promising responsible tours for travelers. A short 45-minute drive to the town of Gamboa, where the Chagres River meets the Panama Canal, reveals another world entirely. As I glided down the river by boat, I spotted everything from howler monkeys to crocodiles.
Back in Casco Viejo, I wandered the colorful cobblestone streets of Panama City, enjoyed an incredible lunch at the celebrated Fonda Lo Que Hay, and enjoyed a much-needed afternoon caffeine pick-me-up at the world-famous Geisha Coffee Experience, considered an experience worth traveling for in itself. And because food is a love language and one of the best ways to introduce yourself to a local culture, that evening I enjoyed dinner at Lazotea, a rooftop restaurant in Casco Viejo with skyline views, incredible Latin flavors, and the kind of atmosphere that makes you want to dance all night.
Day Three: The Panama Canal & Embera People
This being Panama City, the next day I visited the Miraflores Locks of the Panama Canal to learn about the inner workings of this globally significant canal and how ships transit through it. But by far the most memorable part of my entire trip was meeting the Emberá people, an indigenous tribe that lives along the Gatun River and is known for their deep respect for the rivers and forests, believing that everything in nature has a spirit. The Emberá community welcomes visitors into their village to showcase their customs and history, allowing even travelers on a short layover to walk away with a profound sense of Panama’s cultural heritage.
That evening, back in the city, I enjoyed a dinner at Cantina del Tigre, one of the World’s 50 Best Restaurants, and ended the night using the secret password to get inside Arcano, a hidden speakeasy inside the Sofitel.
While it was a whirlwind, Copa Airlines let me do more than just wait around inside an airport for my connecting flight. Instead, I could drop my bags and stay a while, turning my layover into a mini vacation.
I’m a Moral Philosopher. Using CLEAR Makes You Complicit in an Unethical System
Wanlee Prachyapanaprai/iStock
https://www.fodors.com/news/news/using-clear-makes-you-complicit-in-an-unethical-system
One of the earliest moral truths we endorse is that cutting the line is generally wrong. Why should paying to do so make any difference?
If you have flown out of a major U.S. airport in the last few years, you’re probably familiar by now with CLEAR. Maybe you’re one of their reportedly 7 million-plus subscribers. But in case you’re unfamiliar, CLEAR is a subscription-based service available at many airports across the U.S., which affords members the privilege of cutting the TSA line—that is, not just the regular TSA lines, but even the Pre-Check lines. All you need to do, after paying the membership fee, is to have your eyes and fingerprints scanned by CLEAR’s software to verify your identity, and you’ll be escorted by a CLEAR agent to the front of the line. It’s as simple as that.
I’m not a CLEAR subscriber, nor do I want to be. I am, however, a philosophy professor, which means I spend a lot of time thinking about concepts like fairness.
I believe CLEAR is unfair and thus unethical. And thinking about why it’s unfair illuminates other kinds of inequality elsewhere in society.
Here’s the basic ethical problem. Cutting in line is generally morally wrong. Doing so permissibly requires special moral justification. CLEAR allows people to pay a private company for the privilege of cutting the line; and paying for something is not enough to make it morally justified. This system imposes burdens on others, and treats them unfairly, without providing them with fair compensation (of some form or other). Thus, the practice is unfair.
Let’s dive a bit deeper.
Waiting in line is generally due to scarcity, whether of a good or a service. Our default approach to dealing with scarcity is to implement a “first come, first served” (FCFS) policy. This seems fair in general: if waiting is necessary, those who have waited the longest should be prioritized. The line roughly reflects that ordering.
But sometimes we have good reasons to deviate from FCFS.
FCFS can be inefficient. Suppose I go to a restaurant by myself, and behind me is a party of six. I arrived first, so I should generally be prioritized. But if the only six-top in the restaurant opens up, it would be inefficient for the restaurant to seat me there by myself. The reasonable thing to do is to seat the party of six, and wait for a smaller table to open up for me. This imposes a small burden on me—I have to wait a bit longer—but this seems to be a fair tradeoff for the gains in efficiency.
FCFS is also insensitive to need. Consider emergency room triage: life-threatening conditions are rightly prioritized over broken toes. Adjusting FCFS to accommodate serious need is not simply a matter of maximizing efficiency, but also of addressing urgency. To be sure, this imposes the burden of longer wait times (and thus more pain) on some patients to benefit others. But a policy of triage is clearly morally preferable to, say, insisting that the gunshot victim wait his turn at the back of the line.
Here’s a simple test, inspired by philosopher John Rawls, for whether we should deviate from FCFS. Ask yourself whether you would prefer the alternative system over FCFS if you didn’t know which person you’d be in that scenario. Clearly, we’d generally prefer a triage system if we didn’t know whether we’d be the one suffering from a broken toe or a gunshot wound.
What does all this have to do with CLEAR? Well, CLEAR systematically disrupts FCFS, by affording some the privilege of cutting the line. Is this justified?
First, is it more efficient? I don’t see how. Perhaps one could argue that the money from CLEAR subscriptions helps offset TSA costs, thereby allowing for more agents and a faster process. But there’s no evidence to support this.
Is it based in need? Again, this is doubtful. Sure, some CLEAR passengers are in a hurry, or they may travel more than the average flyer. But neither of these is a morally important need.
Run our earlier test again: if you didn’t know which type of flyer you would be, would you agree to implement CLEAR? I suspect not.
There is also the matter of cost. First off, why should a private company be given the power to manipulate the line in this way? (This highlights one significant difference between CLEAR and TSA Pre-Check: the latter does generate revenue for TSA, and it involves giving the government information to facilitate a faster identity verification process.) And, more importantly, why should merely paying for a subscription afford one the privilege of cutting the line? We don’t think paying the ER nurse to jump the triage queue is justified (though, admittedly, things are less clear with the maître d’). No doubt FCFS can be altered in some cases, such as airport employees, flight crew, and those who (through no fault of their own) would otherwise miss their flights.
But while we put up with the idea that, in our society, people can sometimes pay their way to the front of the line, that doesn’t mean we should welcome it. Lines are one of the few remaining ways we relate to each other as equals. We shouldn’t be okay with disrupting this merely because some are willing to pay for it. This effectively treats otherwise egalitarian spaces as auction sites, with benefits going to the highest bidders.
CLEAR is perhaps a minor example of this phenomenon, but it is pervasive in our consumer-driven culture. We should be skeptical of tendencies to describe changes as “innovative” and “advances” when these benefits largely accrue to those with greater means—and the burdens are born by those without.
I know you’re probably still tempted to subscribe to CLEAR, but I’d encourage you to resist the allure. Maybe you can discuss this argument with the other people suffering with you through the inevitably longer lines that await you.
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